My daughter, Annie, asked me to take 5 minutes and tell you my story as a
survivor and what relay means to me.
I was 32 years old when I discovered a really ugly bump on my right arm, right
above my elbow - For about 6 or 7 months I called it an ugly bump and tried to
wish it or hate it away. When that didn't work I went to the doctor had it
removed and was told it was just a lump of misplaced fat cells.
A year later, after ignoring it for a few more months, I went back to have it
removed again. This time the Dr. decided maybe he should send it to OHSU and
have someone else check it out. A week later, I got THE call, "Eileen, an
oncologist up on the hill wants to see you - it's cancer and he thinks you need
some more treatment." I can't began to tell you the feelings that went through
my mind. But they all revolved around my girls and my husband and how important
they were to me. Our oldest daughter, Linda, was in 7th grade and that night
she was having her first sports award dessert for gymnastics, so I just decided
not to say anything to my husband til that was over. You know if you don't say
it out loud it's not real, right? That was one long night of smiling and
clapping and being proud..... I just sat and looked at my kids and thought and
thought some more. We have three girls - at that time they were 12, 11, and 5.
My biggest wish and greatest concern was to see Annie, our 5 year old, make it
to first grade. I'm not sure why that became the most important thought but it
did. I remember asking the doctor if I was going to die and he just said yes -
we're all going to die, but odds are you might die a lot sooner if we don't get
this under control. It may seem strange but somehow the idea of seeing Annie
make it to first grade got me through those two weeks in the hospital,
chemotherapy and a lot of physical therapy on my arm.
Well that was l979. I got to see Annie make it to first grade. We have 10
grandchildren now, the oldest will graduate from High School this spring and
next fall I'll see Annie's youngest make it to first grade. We've come full
circle. A lot has happened since that time - I've had two more bouts of
melanoma, in 1984 and l990, the last time it traveled down to the bone on my
upper arm, all the lymph nodes under that arm have been removed and they tried
an experimental chemotherapy treatment, well experimental back then. Then just
for meanness in l998 cancer decided to show up in a malignant colon carcinoid.
But here I am. I did survive -- but I really did not feel it til I attended my
first Relay for Life in 2000. Our daughter, Gail, invited me to Coos Bay to
walk the survivors lap during the American Cancer Society's Relay For Life. I
wasn't sure I wanted to but I was sure that Gail wanted me to, so I did. It was
pretty darn amazing after all those years to finally say WOW__ I mean you are
there with all the other people who share many of the same feelings and fears
and it's just awesome. It felt like Oh, you really are a Survivor __WOW__
That's my survivor story, but there is another side of the survivor story. I
survived having cancer. But what we don't look at often enough is the fact that
my husband, Chris, and my daughters survived me having cancer four times. They
are the other survivors that relay is for_ I know because I've been on both
sides of cancer and in so many ways it has been harder for me to be the friend
or harder yet the daughter of a cancer patient. I lost my Mom to colon cancer
in l99l and I relay for her.
I believe, for me, being involved with Relay For Life is my way of putting
cancer behind me, a way to fight and give hope to others who have to face it.
You never know which dollar will find the cure or which emerging research may
help another victim the same way it helped me, so we Relay_
And then after all the work and money raising you get to the weekend of Relay_
That is 24 hours you just have to experience yourself to understand. I enjoy it
all, the survivor celebration, the opening lap, the friends we make and stories
we share as we walk and rest throughout the day. The silence and contemplation
of the luminaria ceremony, walking by the light of candles around the track and
reading the names of survivors and those loved ones we have lost.
And finally walking the last lap and how tired you feel - yet you're so pumped
after clean up that you really don't sleep - you relive the day and start to
plan for next year. My husband said it best when he said "You can have a little
fun and have a little tug on your heart- that's Relay_" Annie said take about 5
minutes, but it's impossible to explain Relay and what it means to me in 5
minutes. It takes the full 24 hours on the track_
Everyone has their own reason to walk - I walk in celebration of my personal
victory over cancer and in memory of those I love who lost the battle. Share
your reasons to Relay with friends and loved ones and lets all walk together on
July 29th and 30th.
